Welcome to Nanda Parbat, Mr Queen
by mjf2468
Summary: Written in first person, Oliver's view of Arrow 3x15 episode "Nanda Parbat", then AU. After receiving and rejecting the offer from Ra's, Oliver later accepts it when Malcolm later reveals the more sinister reasons for the offer. Merlyn's plan is for Oliver to destroy the League from the inside. Will Oliver withstand Ra's' brainwashing and save the city? Or will he lose himself?
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Oliver's view of the events of the Arrow 3x15 episode "Nanda Parbat", written by Erik Oleson and Ben Sokolowski, with some allowances for exploration of ideas not expressed in the original episode. Written in first person, so it's different from my other stories.

 **AN: The story arc with Ra's continues to fascinate me. I've had most of this written for a while now, debating what to do with it. Still not completely sure, but I really wanted to share what I got. This was one of my favorite episodes of season 3...so I wanted to explore Oliver's thoughts during it. Also, to put my own spin on the reasons for Ra's' offer and the entire NP mythology, which I felt the show could've better addressed. So here is my version of the events in the episode. Please enjoy!**

Diggle and I worked as the well-oiled machine we've become, after the years of partnership, to gain entry into the castle of Ra's al Ghul. The thought crossed my mind, in the middle of battling the dozens of warriors without difficulty, whether it was all a trick, for it seemed a little too easy, in taking down the guards on the estate of the great Ra's al Ghul. Without too much effort, we gained entry into the Fortress.

Once inside the castle, we were met with six separate corridors, and five more assassins, who we took care of just as easily as their comrades. When we were done Diggle looked at me.

"This place is humongous. How do we find Merlyn in all of this?" Diggle asked.

I pulled out my phone and pulled up a menu. "We'll find him with this. The nanites I tagged him four months ago." I held up my phone. "My phone can track them."

I led Diggle down one hallway, and then another, as indicated by my phone. We entered into a room with a high ceiling. The smell of burning coals and flesh met our nostrils as we entered, but it was the sight in front of us which was truly frightening. We had indeed found the man we were searching for. Merlyn was suspended above a bright glowing pile of coals, his feet barely touching them, his arms stretched painfully spread-eagled above him. I wasn't too sure he was still alive, being so broken and bruised. I hardly recognized him.

"Help me get him down," I said to Diggle.

However, before we could take a step, Malcolm mumbled something. I asked him to repeat it, and he said it slightly louder. "Trap. A…trap."

Before we could react, I heard a pulley clanging, and we suddenly found ourselves behind a barred gate. I exchanged a look with Diggle then slowly turned and watched as the greatest feared man in the world approached us, followed by six men dressed in the black garb of the Assassins, bows drawn, arrows nocked.

"Mr. Queen. Welcome to Nanda Parbat."

My stomach in my throat, I suddenly felt dizzy. Darkness quickly descended upon me, and I barely was aware of falling to the ground, Diggle landing next to me. My last thought was wondering how Ra's was able to gas us without affecting anyone else in the room. Sometime later, I slowly became aware of lying on my side, on a cold stone surface.

"Oliver, Oliver!" I heard Digg say "About time you woke up."

I pushed my weary body into a sitting position and then observed manacles around my wrists and ankles. I yanked on the chain, testing it for any possible weakness.

Diggle laughed and said, "Yeah, I tried that already. Nothing's happening."

"We need to get out of here now," I said, anger underscoring my words.

"Yeah, save your strength. I have a feeling we'll going to need it," my companion said in his usual light manner while attempting to hide his concern.

"I'm not going to let you die down here," I muttered, as I tried unsuccessfully to pull the chains out of the floor.

"I don't think it's up to you."

I sighed and looked at my best friend with regret. "I shouldn't have let you come."

"Also not up to you."

I stopped my efforts and looked at my good friend, who met my gaze with sympathetic eyes. I said softly, "You don't understand."

Diggle said, "I think I do. You forget I know you sometimes better than you know yourself."

Yes, his statement was correct. Diggle never failed to surprise me with his nuggets of wisdom he had offered me over the past two years. I looked at my friend, shook my head and rolled my eyes. "Maybe you could've told me I wasn't doing this for Thea _before_ we left."

Diggle shrugged. "You _are_ doing it for Thea, but yeah you're right. It's not just about her."

I took a deep breath, ready to share a part of my soul with the man I considered to be more of a brother to me. "You know every time I close my eyes all I can see, all I can hear. Feel." I took a breath. "is just the fall. I couldn't live like that." I looked down at my chained hands. "I couldn't live knowing there was someone out there who beat me."

"Yeah that makes sense."

I looked at Diggle with disgust. "No, it's egotistical and insane."

"So is putting on a mask and jumping off of rooftops, Oliver. To do that you have to be in a certain mindset. Every soldier on the battlefield, man, has to believe he's coming home. Otherwise he's paralyzed." Diggle met my eyes and nodded knowingly. "Ra's got in your head."

Silently acknowledging my friend's wisdom and affirmation of my feelings I looked around the room, then back at him. We needed a little lightheartedness, I decided. "What's the favor you wanted to ask me?" I asked, wanting to change the subject. At least for the moment. To think beyond this room, this mess I had gotten us into.

Diggle shook his head. "I don't think now's the right time."

"We're not dead yet. Now might be the only time." I prayed with all my strength I was wrong.

Diggle looked at me. I could see the internal debate happening behind those dark brown eyes. I know he disagreed with me, but he decided to go ahead. "I always assumed, if I got married again, Andy would be by my side." He paused, then continued in a quieter voice. "When I lost my brother I never thought I'd get another one." Straightening up, pulling on the chains slightly, Diggle breathed out. "So, pretending for a moment we aren't two dead men chained to the floor, how you feel about being my best man?" he asked me with a smile.

"I feel pretty good about it," I said with quiet confidence, with the hope I would indeed be able to get us out of Nanda Parbat and keep that promise. Even if it looked a little shaky at the moment.

We shared a look, then I heard a sound that brought dread to my bones. Boots marching on the floor, bouncing off the walls and echoing down the hallways. The cell door was unlocked and opened to reveal Maseo. I watched as he walked into our cell, accompanied by two other LOA guards.

"Oliver, it's time," Maseo said softly. I heard the unspoken apology in his tone.

Maseo removed the manacles from my wrists and ankles, and gestured me to stand up. The other two guards pointed their guns at me and Diggle. I got the message. If I tried anything, Digg was dead. I stood up without incident and put my hands behind my back when asked. Maseo put handcuffs on my wrists. I gave Diggle one last look, and he nodded. I nodded back and turned to walk out of the room, the guards behind me.

We walked along several corridors, then entered a room with a high ceiling, rugs on the walls, and a throne at the far end. Ra's was waiting there for me. I was led to him. Standing in front of him, I was forced onto my knees. I then felt a sword's tip against my throat. I looked up into the eyes of Ra's, holding the sword without a single waver.

"You tasted death, and you wanted more, but the truth is everyone and everything must come to an end. Even for one such as me."

I didn't catch the ambiguous meaning of his last sentence. I instead was focusing on the realization I wasn't going to survive the day. Calling upon all the strength I could, I said in a deceptively calm voice, "Kill me, but spare John Diggle's life." I prayed he would. John deserved that. I continued, "Let him go." Reminding myself of what I owed John, I added, "I will beg for it."

I looked at the man who had beat me in combat, who had successfully shaken my belief in myself, and wondered if he would indeed be the one to kill me. Instead he surprised me with his next actions and words.

"You have shown tremendous strength, fortitude, power. No, Mr. Queen, I do not want to kill you." He removed the sword from my throat and sheathed it. "I want you take my place. I want you to become the next Ra's al Ghul."

I looked at the man in front of me, allowing my confusion to show on my face. I attempted to school my features into a bland expression, but wasn't successful, I'm afraid. "Say again?"

At Ra's gesture, one of the guards walked to me and took off the handcuffs and assisted me to my feet. Ra's walked down the two steps to meet me. "Walk with me." He then turned to walk out into the hallway.

I followed. I almost felt as if I were living in some kind of dream. Perhaps I never did survive the fall off the mountain two months ago. Perhaps I was indeed dead and now existed in some kind of weird afterlife.

"You see, Mr. Queen, I finally have contracted a terminal illness which my Lazarus Pit cannot cure. I have had to take more frequent soakings in the pit, which lead to increased…confusion, shall we say. I want to have my heir in place before I die."

 _Lazarus Pit?_ I had heard of it, but had assumed it was mythical. Then again, those same reports made Ra's al Ghul out to be just as mythical, and here I was standing in front of the man.

By this time we had reached a small dining room, comfortably furnished with seemingly down-to-earth wooden table and chairs. However, I wasn't misled by the apparent low-key appearance. Ra's went over to one of the chairs and sat down. Once settled, he looked up and gestured to the chair across from him. I sat down and tried to settle my still-racing heart.

"There has been a legend which has existed even before my time. It states the man who survives Ra's' blade will become the next Ra's al Ghul."

"What happens to you?"

"Like I have said, Mr. Queen. I am dying. My body can no longer completely rejuvenate itself, even with the Lazarus Pit." The man paused for effect, then said, "I am not certain how long I have." A servant brought two plates filled with thick slices of bread, cheese, and grapes and placed one in front of each of us. Ra's picked up a grape, looked up at me, and popped the grape in his mouth. "You weren't supposed to have survived our duel. No ordinary man would have."

I didn't know how to respond. It had been a surprise for me as well. I fully expected to see the pearly gates when I opened my eyes. Instead, I had met the gaze of Tatsu, my Hong Kong mentor's ex-wife. Who saved me, under the most austere circumstances, in a mountain cabin. When you think about it, it had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with Tatsu's miraculous healing powers. However, I couldn't reveal her involvement in this. It would endanger both Maseo and Tatsu. I owed them my life, so I had to make sure they weren't implicated in any way.

Instead I met Ra's' gaze, giving a shrug, and waited for him to continue. I still had no idea what his game plan was.

"I was happy having Nyssa be my heir. Until I met you, and you fulfilled the prophecy."

Nyssa. Not too many things scare me, but her reaction to all of this? I was almost afraid to find out.

"Are you crazy, Ra's? Why should I take away Nyssa's birthright? Just because I happened to have survived your silly duel?"

Ra's quirked an eyebrow at me. Perhaps I was acting a little too flippant. I attempted to back-track. "All I'm saying is that Nyssa has been preparing to succeed you all her life. Who am I to take it away from her?"

"Who are you indeed? Only the one the prophets have talked about."

I didn't like the sound of that. "I've never been a religious type myself," slipped out before I could stop myself. Sometimes my teenage smart-mouth still showed up occasionally to cause me trouble.

Ra's fixed what I would call a death glare upon me. I met it headlong, daring him to make an issue of my reply. He did not. Instead he popped another grape in his mouth.

"So what happens if I say no?" I asked, figuring I had nothing to lose by getting directly to the point.

Suddenly, my stomach was in my throat as I waited for his reply.

 **AN: Well, leaving it there, for now. I haven't decided yet if I want to continue this, and how. I probably will, so we shall see. Perhaps this story will be closer to canon than my other stories and show Oliver's reasoning for some of his bad decisions in season three. So stay tuned, and thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2: An Offer Considered

Disclaimer: WB/DC own these characters. I do not, just the original ideas. Some dialogue is from the episode "The Offer" by Beth Schwartz and Brian Ford Sullivan.

 **AN: Thank you for all the reviews, favs and follows. And for returning. This will now be more AU.** **To make things more interesting. And to add more suspense and details that I felt were missing from the show, and to explain some plot holes that I felt weren't addressed in the show.**

Previously:

 _"So what happens if I say no?" I asked, figuring I had nothing to lose by getting directly to the point._

 _Suddenly, my stomach was in my throat as I waited for his reply._

"Why, you'll be free to return home, you and your friends."

"Even Malcolm? Without consequence?"

"I did say plural. Yes, even Al Sa-her." Ra's took a bite of food, chewed and swallowed it. "But first, before you decide, let us eat and I will tell you more." Ra's took several more bites before he continued. "Ra's is a title greater than one man. Wing Ta Lao Wo Chey."

"Am I supposed to understand what that means?"

"No. It is from a dialect no longer spoken. It was said to me by a man whose place I took when I was contemplating the same offer. And what it means is, 'a tale to be told begins thus'."

I wasn't sure I liked what he said. It seemed somewhat foreboding to me. Especially the way Ra's looked at me as he said it. Like I was supposed to recognize the hidden meaning in it. Which, for the life of me, I didn't catch.

Gesturing to the elegant surroundings, I asked, "Is all of this supposed to impress me? These surroundings, your fancy speeches?"

"No, to inform you." Ra's leaned back into his chair and looked me in the eye. "Surely, men have branded you a murderer, a torturer." A slight shudder involuntarily went down my spine. Ra's smiled slightly and I knew he had seen it. "You see, I would never shame you with such bluntness."

He popped another grape in his mouth and took the time to chew it before he continued. "Because I see it in your eyes the struggle you have with your dual identity. Oliver Queen and the Arrow. Neither giving you what you crave."

I gave a short laugh. "But becoming Ra's al Ghul will?"

"Oliver Queen is a man destined to be alone. He loves a woman he knows he cannot have."

I blanched despite myself. How and why did he know that? "You don't know me."

"But I do know the Arrow. Al Sa-hem will never be anything more than a vigilante to those whose lives you save at the risk of your own. Your city will turn on you, your closest allies in the police department will call you a criminal. You will be scorned, and hunted, then killed, dying as you began your crusade. Alone."

I contemplated Ra's' words. Even though I could see the manipulation Ra's was attempting, I could also not argue with the logic of his arguments. Despite myself, I felt myself almost being persuaded by Ra's' eloquence. Self-doubt entered my mind, asking whether I should indeed try a different way. Before it was too late and things went the way Ra's was suggesting they would.

"As Ra's you would have thousands of soldiers at your command. Soldiers willing to lay their very lives down in obedience to you. Nothing in Starling could ever be as satisfying as that."

Suddenly the story of the devil tempting Jesus with all the riches of the world popped into my mind. As with any of the devil's offers, it only looked good on the surface. Who knew what evil hid underneath? And I, for one, was having difficulty at this time figuring out what Ra's was up to. Despite how tempting Ra's offer was, I couldn't see myself accepting it. For whatever reason. Working with one devil in a lifetime was enough for me.

"I must say I appreciate the offer, but I still choose to decline."

I met the gaze Ra's fixed upon me without nary a tremor. Or at least I hoped so. I still didn't have a grasp on what he had planned, and that scared me to death. I watched as a puzzling smile curved his lips up and a strange gleam entered his eyes. For some reason I felt like a mouse being the plaything of a cat.

"And like I said, Mr. Queen, you are free to make that decision. If that's what you truly want."

Standing up, brushing imaginary crumbs off his hands, Ra's continued. "You are free to return home. And as a sign of good faith, your two friends may also accompany you. With all blood debts erased, even those of Al Sa-her."

I bit back asking why he was indeed letting us go. I decided not to push my dumb luck any further than I already had today. I had foolishly walked into the enemy's den and was now being permitted to leave unharmed. That was enough. For now.

Ra's turned to two of his soldiers and nodded. They left and returned with Diggle and Malcolm.

"Your airplane is being prepared to take you back home. I appreciate the consideration you gave to my offer, Mr. Queen, and until we meet again." Ra's slowly and regally moved towards the door and most of his soldiers fell in line behind him.

One of the soldiers approached me. "Please follow me to the car outside." I fell in step behind him, with Diggle and Malcolm coming alongside me. I was concerned about Malcolm's appearance. He was growing more pale with each moment. I wondered if he had the strength to get outside on his own power.

"Malcolm, how are you? Do you need assistance?" I mumbled.

"Now that you mentioned it..." Malcolm stumbled forward. Diggle was able to catch him before he fell to the ground. I sighed and took Malcolm's other arm and placed it around my shoulder. We half-carried him outside to a waiting car.

Silence prevailed during the ride to the airport. I didn't know about Diggle, but I kept an eye on the surroundings, still not totally trusting Ra's simply letting us go. However, nothing amiss happened on the way. No cars trailed us, nothing unusual happened. We got to the airport, and was able to board the plane without any difficulty. I didn't catch sight of one black hood at all.

As we settled into our seats, Diggle asked, "So, man, what happened between you and Ra's? Don't tell me he simply let us go." By the look he fixed me, I knew he wasn't going to be easily distracted from the topic.

"Especially me," added Malcolm.

I pursed his lips together, gathering my thoughts. Where do I start, when I hardly knew how to explain it myself? "What can I say? He said we were free to go after I declined his offer."

"His offer?" Malcolm asked. I blanched at his rough tone and wondered what was behind it.

"Ra's offered me the opportunity to become his heir. I turned him down, of course."

My companions, their eyes wide reflecting their shock, asked in unison, "What?"

Malcolm continued, "Oliver, what was his reason for offering you this?"

I met his eyes straight on. "He said it was because I survived the duel. And that he needs an heir because he has a terminal illness which his Lazarus Pit can no longer cure."

Malcolm nodded, appearing to be cognizant in what I was saying. "Because he has used it too many times."

I narrowed my eyes at him. Suddenly, I wondered if I could truly trust Malcolm in all of this. "What do you know about it?" What knowledge did Malcolm hide behind those eyes?

"Like I said, I know a lot about Nanda Parbat and the League."

Diggle snorted in disgust. "Well, someone fill me in, please? What is this so-called Lazarus Pit?"

Malcolm looked at me, raising an eyebrow in question. I nodded, indicating that he should tell the story. "All right, Oliver, I'll explain. Well, Mr. Diggle, the Lazarus Pit is a magical healing pond which has enabled Ra's to survive for over 600 years."

"Six hundred years? You got to be kidding me," Diggle said. "First a man who can run faster than lightning, and now? A man who can practically live forever?"

"Yes, Mr. Diggle, that is exactly what I'm saying. So, Oliver, why does he want you instead of Nyssa as his heir?"

"Oh, yeah, Nyssa. Does she know about this?" Diggle asked.

"Ra's said a legend exists that the man who survives Ra's' blade will become the next Ra's al Ghul." Shrugging my shoulders, I said, "Ra's claims that because of this mystical what's-it, I am to be the heir. Not Nyssa, just because I supposedly fulfilled this crazy prophecy."

"And, despite all of this, Ra's simply let us leave, because you turned him down?" Diggle asked, with a question in his eyes.

I looked at Malcolm, wondering whether it was even useful to ask the question, but decided to anyway. "What do you think, Malcolm?"

"Oliver, despite what he says, it's not as simple as Ra's led you to believe. Don't forget, I know the man. He doesn't make offers lightly. And he doesn't take rejection well either."

"So what's his game then? Why did he let us leave? Why did he say I had a choice?" This was getting more complicated every moment.

"Game is the correct term. Ra's loves to strategize, to manipulate. Whatever he has planned, you're not going to see it coming."

Malcolm's reply didn't give me any relief. "Well, we just have to figure it out then. With your help. Got any ideas?"

"I think his choosing you as heir goes beyond your personal attributes, as excellent as they may be." Malcolm snorted and quirked a smile. "We just have to figure out what else he's planning." He stopped to consider something. "For Starling City as well as for you."

"What do you mean? You think he chose me because of my hometown?"

"Yeah, sorry to bruise your ego, but I think he wants to use Starling for something." Malcolm's eyes turned somber. "Or he's planning on destroying it for some other purpose."

"What?"

"I don't know. If it weren't so dangerous I'd recommend you going undercover, to sabotage the League from within."

"Not to show my ego, but what makes you think I wouldn't be able to pull something like that off?"

"Don't get me wrong, Oliver. Don't forget, I know exactly what you're capable of." Malcolm paused as a look of what I would only call fear quickly passed over Malcolm's face. "You have no idea what's all involved with joining the League." Just as I opened his mouth, Malcolm added, "Despite everything you supposedly have gone through on the island, I don't know whether you…or anyone…could pull it off."

My eyes took on a hardened edge, and I asked in my Arrow tone, "Why don't you educate me on it then?"

"It's not that simple."

"Why the hell not, Malcolm?" Diggle asked, losing his patience.

Startled, as if he had forgotten Diggle's presence, Malcolm said, "What Oliver may experience is difficult to guess. Many different factors determine the exact process of initiation for each individual."

"What kind of crap is that?"

"Partly because of the heavy influence of mysticism and tradition, partly because of secrecy surrounding the process, it's difficult to know exactly what Oliver would experience while being initiated."

"Are you saying you're bound to some oath and not able to tell us?"

"Well, actually I am breaking such an oath by even beginning this conversation with you. But what I meant was I don't know the exact initiation ceremonies that you might undergo. That's what makes such an idea truly dangerous." Malcolm shook his head. "I'm not sure whether I can prepare you for all contingencies. And if you fail, who knows the consequences?"

I was becoming even more uncomfortable with this whole thing as time went on. But I knew I had the skills needed to handle whatever Ra's threw at us. "It wouldn't be the first time I'd be in such a situation where I didn't know everything before I went in. And if Ra's is indeed serious about not taking no for an answer, like you say, then what choice do we have?"

"Seems like we have a few things to think about," Diggle said, running his fingers through his buzz cut. "Any other ideas or should we rest for a while? We've all had quite an eventful couple of days."

I gave Malcolm a searching look. He did look tired, understandably so, considering all the torture he had undergone the last several days. Actually, Malcolm appeared to be about to fall asleep where he sat. "Yeah, Malcolm, I think we all can do for a rest. We will pick this up when we get home."

Malcolm nodded, and settled himself into his seat. Moments later, I heard a soft snore coming from the master criminal. I looked over at Diggle, who smiled and settled into his own seat. Rolling my eyes, I sat back and began to think of what all we had discussed. Even though I was tired, sleep felt impossible. I instead decided to try to make some kind of sense out of all that had happened, and all that Malcolm had shared with us. After running through everything several times and not arriving at any answers, I finally decided to meditate instead. Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep.

 **AN: Thank you so much for reading. I hope you liked this twist of the story. I will see what I can come up with in this AU. Hope you stay tuned and come back to see what twists will occur.**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: WB/DC own these characters. I do not, just the original ideas.

 **AN: Thank you for returning. I wasn't sure if I was going to continue this, but then the Muse returned. Hope you enjoy it. Going to see where it takes us. I can foresee perhaps some change in canon, we shall see. I think this will be yet another attempt for me to make more sense of some of the events of the Ra's arc. Sigh. (I hope you agree, with the point of view being in first person, it adds a little spice to the story).**

Previously:

 _"Seems like we have a few things to think about," Diggle said, running his fingers through his buzz cut. "Any other ideas or should we rest for a while? We've all had quite an eventful couple of days."_

 _I gave Malcolm a searching look. He did look tired, understandably so, considering all the torture he had undergone the last several days. Actually, Malcolm appeared to be about to fall asleep where he sat. "Yeah, Malcolm, I think we all can do for a rest. We will pick this up when we get home."_

 _Malcolm nodded, and settled himself into his seat. Moments later, I heard a soft snore coming from the master criminal. I looked over at Diggle, who smiled and settled into his own seat. Rolling my eyes, I sat back and began to think of what they had all discussed. Even though I was tired, sleep felt impossible. I instead decided to try to make some kind of sense out of all that had happened, and all that Malcolm had shared with us. After running through everything several times and not arriving at any answers, I finally decided to meditate instead. Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep._

Upon reaching Starling City we were about to go in separate directions. I could tell Diggle couldn't wait to see his family. He didn't waste any time letting me know I was correct. "I know we need to strategize, Oliver, to figure out what Ra's might have planned. However, I'm sure Lyla is worried sick about me. And I…I need…"

"You need to kiss and hug your two girls. I understand," I told him with a smile. "You go do that, and give Sara a kiss from me."

Diggle gave me a huge smile. It was agreed that he would take the van home, and I'd find my own way home.

However, Malcolm had other plans. He waited until Diggle was in the van heading home. "Oliver, may I offer you a ride to your Foundry? There are a few other things I'd like to discuss with you."

I felt my eyebrows crunch without any idea of my own. My earlier assessment may well be correct after all. Malcolm did have something in mind. Sighing internally, I agreed and followed him to his car. Neither one of us broke the silence until we were in the Foundry.

He followed me down the stairs and waited until I took a seat across from Felicity's computers. He sat in one of the other chairs and looked me in the eye.

"I wasn't completely truthful on the plane."

Try as I might I couldn't stop some sarcasm leaking into my reply. "Big surprise."

Malcolm shook his head but continued as though I hadn't interrupted him. "I do have an idea what Ra's has planned for Starling."

"Why didn't you tell us earlier?"

"I'm not convinced Mr. Diggle should have this information. At least, not yet. I felt we needed to discuss this, the two of us, first."

"What are you talking about? I trust Diggle with my life, I trust you not at all."

"Yes, I'm fully aware of your feelings about me. However, if you still feel that way after our discussion I'll concede to your wishes."

I considered all possible sides of this statement, but wasn't able to think right away of what Merlyn's angle was. "Okay. Tell me."

"You see, in order for the heir to complete his initiation into the hierarchy of the League, he must destroy his hometown."

I looked at Malcolm. I felt my eyes widen and my mouth fall open. I closed it and shook my head. "What did you say?"

"It's tradition, as a means to begin anew for the new Ra's. Destroy the past as a way for the future."

What was about with all of these criminals wanting to destroy Starling? What did it ever do to them? I could tell Malcolm thought there was more to the plan beyond simple destruction. "And you think there's an ulterior plan for destroying Starling?"

"Yes, but I have no idea what it could be. He does have a past of attempting to gain control of the world by various methods. He has been stopped each time, however, by various people and groups."

I rose out of his chair and began to pace. I couldn't take in what I was hearing. I turned sharply towards Malcolm. "Say again?"

"Sorry, I only have the information I have."

"How did you get this information anyway?"

"I still have my friends in the League." Malcolm met the challenge in my eyes without flinching. "As well as other sources."

"Why would the sources inside the League betray Ra's like this?"

"Not everyone is agreeing with what Ra's does with the League."

I resumed my frantic pacing. I didn't know what made me angrier, Malcolm's maddening way of sharing information or the information itself. "So, we are to believe this information?"

"Yes, it's reliable. I stake my life on it."

I scoffed at that statement. "Actually, isn't it more like my life you're staking?"

"Oh, that infamous Arrow humor." After I glared at him, Malcolm shrugged and said, "Seriously, Oliver, I see no other way but for you to agree to become his heir and stop Ra's."

"I got a better idea. I refuse Ra's' offer and we think of another way to stop Ra's." Or... "What about these other people or groups you mention. Why don't they stop him instead?"

"That wouldn't work. They are either preoccupied with other dangers at this time, or otherwise unavailable. Also, for some reason, Ra's has centered on you. And Ra's doesn't take no for an answer." Malcolm paused, as if he expected me to say something. I remained quiet so he continued. "He will make your life hell until you agree. Who knows who will die because of your reticence?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Ra's will use every means necessary to persuade you to become his Heir. If that includes killing those you love, then so be it. Who knows what other means as well? Like turning the police and the public against you." Malcolm shook his head. "Ra's has no limit of dirty tricks he has been known to use."

"Not unlike you."

Malcolm rose. Oops, I may have gone too far. But part of me didn't care. "Okay, Oliver, I get it. You do not trust me. Even after all of this. However, I'm just trying to help you. If you don't want my help, I'll leave. I will just have to comfort Thea when you're dead, that's all. After I take her far away from Starling to keep her alive, that is, when Starling itself is destroyed."

I brushed my hands through my short hair. Nothing like having to trust the devil to prevent an apocalypse. I would review my options but I feared I didn't know what they were. I'd normally discuss something like this with Diggle, but I had a feeling I knew what his opinion would be. In my past, I did a lot of bad things in the name of "the end justifies the means", and here I was about to do it once again. I seriously didn't see any other way, though. Diggle, being the man he is, has never understood that. He viewed the world in black and white, not shades of gray. Despite working with me the past three years.

Malcolm said in a quieter tone, "You feel in your gut I'm right, don't you?"

I turned and met his gaze head-on. Everything inside of me screamed to not trust the man. But that survival instinct which had gotten me home was saying something else.

"Okay, so what do we do?" I finally asked him. I dreaded hearing his ideas, for who knows what he had come up with, but…well, got to get it over with.

"We let your team know about your decision to become Ra's' heir. However, we don't tell them anything about the possibility of Starling being destroyed. Not yet, anyway."

I was about to object, but Malcolm continued. "And, this is important, Oliver. In order to become part of the League, there often is, to some degree, what we would call brainwashing."

"Brain _washing_? If I get brainwashed how am I to accomplish the plan?"

"I shall teach you how to withstand the brainwashing, but you will have to convince your team that you are brainwashed, if they come in contact with you."

"But why?"

"In order to convince Ra's. He is very astute in human behavior. You must be convincing in your portrayal of a brainwashed drone, and your team give no hint at all of any other possibility. And in order to do that, none of them can know of this part of the plan. No one."

I didn't like this idea, not at all. Not only was I to lie to my closest friends, I was putting myself into a most dangerous place. Without backup, I was to turn myself over to a most powerful enemy? And most of all, to trust Malcolm, the man who was willing to kill and betray not only half of Starling but my family last year in his Undertaking? I was not sure at all. Even to save the world.

Malcolm could tell I wasn't convinced. "You think it over, Oliver. You know I am correct. You talk to your team tomorrow, and let's meet tomorrow night to discuss the brainwashing techniques of the League."

I watched as he took his leave. Rubbing my temples, I couldn't believe what just happened.

~~OQ~~OQ~~OQ~~OQ~~

I sat alone in the Lair in the semi-darkness, staring at nothing for quite a while. Malcolm had left me several hours ago. After going into detail as to what I could expect with Ra's, what we needed to do, and the most important thing, which was going to be the most difficult. I had to turn my back on all my loved ones, even my Team. I had to convince them, and in doing so Ra's, that I was fully committed to becoming part of the League. Which meant not confiding in Felicity and Diggle on any of the plan. They would have to be convincing in their grief, and to do so, they couldn't be told anything.

If any of us survived this, I would have a difficult time mending the broken trust of my friends. It comes down to: what was I willing to do to save my family and friends? What am I willing to sacrifice to keep them safe? And alive. When I began all of this, I swore I'd give my all for the mission. Why should it be any different now?

I didn't like it, not at all. I wasn't the same man I was when I first returned from the island. I have enjoyed the friendships of two of the most amazing and loyal people I've ever known. I trusted Diggle and Felicity more than anyone else in the world, and I didn't want to give that up. But…I also would lay down my life for them, and that's what it appears I'd have to do now.

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat as I got up from Felicity's chair. I needed to go home and attempt to get some sleep. I would be contacting Ra's tomorrow, letting him know I changed my mind. I would have to be convincing. To both him, and to my team as well. Even though I still felt it was the worst idea ever. But what else could I do?

 **AN: Hmm….not good, not good at all. Too bad Oliver is listening to Malcolm. Just like the show. Not sure where I am going to take this; perhaps it will be different from canon. Most likely…keep tuning in to see what the Muse comes up with. Thank you for reading this chapter and if you be so kind, let me know what you think via review. Always greatly appreciated!**

 **Now I'm going to vent. As I am working on this chapter, I realize that I am trying to justify some of Oliver's actions, and also, to change it so that he didn't come to the decision of siding with Malcolm easily. I know this isn't what happened on the show, but…I guess I am also giving the character the benefit of the doubt. Even though season 3 Oliver wasn't as evolved as season 4 became. So…whether or not Oliver actually had these misgivings on the show, since we're not always privy to his thoughts, perhaps. Ha. Anyway, hope you will return for the next chapter when I post it. Thanks again for reading and listening!**


	4. Chapter 4: Plans Made, Offer Accepted

Disclaimer: WB/DC own these characters. I do not, just the original ideas.

 **AN: Thank you for returning. Hope you enjoy this new chapter!**

Previously:

 _"_ _In order to convince Ra's. He is very astute in human behavior. You must be convincing in your portrayal of a brainwashed drone, and your team give no hint at all of any other possibility. And in order to do that, none of them can know of this part of the plan. No one."_

 _I didn't like this idea, not at all. Not only was I to lie to my closest friends, I was putting myself into a most dangerous place. Without backup, I was to turn myself over to a most powerful enemy? And most of all, to trust Malcolm, the man who was willing to kill and betray not only half of Starling but my family last year in his Undertaking? I was not sure at all. Even to save the world._

 _Malcolm could tell I wasn't convinced. "You think it over, Oliver. You know I am correct. You talk to your team tomorrow, and let's meet tomorrow night to discuss the brainwashing techniques of the League."_

Upon reaching the loft, I headed straight for bed. Then I remembered I needed to call a meeting to talk to my team. I sent a quick text asking them to meet me at the Foundry at 9am, turned off the lights, and fell into an uneasy sleep.

The next morning, I headed into the Foundry after I quickly showered and dressed. I was going to wait until tonight to contact Ra's. Upon thinking about my initial intention to contact Ra's this morning, I realized I really didn't know how to contact him. Unfortunately, Malcolm knew. So, once again I had to depend upon him to help me. I reminded myself, I better get used to accepting his help, for it will almost be a never-ending status quo until this mission was completed.

I did some quick calisthenics and worked out with the fighting dummy. Unfortunately, after only fifteen minutes of working out, I had to get another one from our never-ending supply of dummies. I smiled ruefully thinking about how Felicity would yell at me again for going through them so quickly. Then I quickly showered so I would be ready for my Team.

Felicity arrived first, her ponytail swinging jauntily behind her as she walked in. "Good morning. I wanted to get a more detailed update from you yesterday, but I figured you guys were too tired."

I gave her a smile, and attempted not to allow my sadness to leak through. "Sorry about that, Felicity. It was quite an experience."

Before I could continue, Diggle arrived, bounding down the stairs. "So did you get home alright? Or did Malcolm talk to you after I left?"

A look showing my surprise crossed my face before I could stop it. "Why you say that?"

Dig rolled his eyes at me. "Come on, man. I could tell he wasn't being completely honest with us. So did he spill after I was gone?"

I got a sudden pain shooting through my forehead, it seemed. I pressed my fingers against my temples and gathered my thoughts.

Looking at Felicity, I directed my statements to her. "While we were at Nanda Parbat, Ra's offered me the position of his Heir."

"Heir? What exactly does that mean?"

"I would become leader of the League of Assassins when Ra's' died." I braced myself for the explosion, and I wasn't disappointed.

"What? But, Oliver, they are criminals. Like the people you've spent the last three years of your life fighting."

"I know. It doesn't make sense."

Felicity searched my face. My heart fell, for I knew she could read me like her computer screen. "You're going to accept the offer, aren't you?"

"What?" Diggle jumped out of his chair as he turned to look at me, his shock apparent on his face.

I tried to swallow the boulder in my throat. "Yes, I've decided to accept Ra's' offer to become his Heir."

"But why, Oliver? That's the stupidest thing you've ever done, and I don't have to remind you, you've done some pretty stupid things in your past," Felicity choked out, unable to hide her frustration.

I looked at Diggle, who was looking at me with sadness in his eyes. He knew what Malcolm had said on the plane, after all. "Felicity, Malcolm told us several things on the plane ride home yesterday."

"I do not care what that snake in the never-ending slime he calls a home says. Why would Oliver agree to such a thing?"

"Because there's the possibility Ra's might be planning to destroy Starling City, and someone has to stop him. Is that it, Oliver?" Diggle asked, with an edge in his voice.

Well, there went the idea of not telling them about Starling. I took a deep breath, exhaled, gave one of my infamous "Oliver shrugs" and said, "Yes, Malcolm is indeed afraid Ra's has some evil plan for Starling. Even possibly destroying it."

Felicity threw up her hands and whirled her chair around. "What _is_ it about our city? Why are we suddenly on everyone's hit list?"

I shook my head sadly. "I don't know."

"But why must _you_ do something about it? Why must you go undercover to investigate this? Isn't there anything else we could do instead of you risking your life without our being able to help you?"

I could easily understand Felicity's concern, and anger, but she couldn't fully understand the reasons why I needed to be the one to do this. Heck, I didn't fully understand it all either.

"Ra's is just too smart to be fooled by anything less than a full undercover operation. That's what happens when you're over 400 years old, after all." Ignoring my team's collective gasp, I continued. "And I really cannot think of what else to do. Malcolm can't either."

Felicity threw up her hands again. "There! Another reason why this is so hair-brained idiotic, Oliver! Do you actually think working with the man who tried to kill not only you but half the city last year is such a great idea?"

I shrugged again. "I really don't know, Felicity. We have such a small window of time to work on this, we don't have the luxury to think of anything else to do."

Diggle considered me with one of his serious looks. "Are you absolutely sure about that, Oliver? Nothing else we can do?"

"I know I sprung this on you both, but does anything come to your mind?" I looked at my team and saw mirror expressions of doubt and regret on their faces. "Yeah, I thought so. This seems like a lose-lose situation, but I have to try."

"Well, for once, why can't we just pack up all of our loved ones and move to, say, Ivy City?" Felicity offered with a half-serious look on her face. "Let someone else handle the life-endangering missions for once."

I placed a hand on her shoulder in recognition of her attempt to bring some levity back in the conversation. "I wish we could, Felicity, but you know…."

"Yeah, I know you can't. You are, after all, a hero."

"You know I hate being called that."

"I don't know why you deny it, Oliver. You…."

"Guys," Diggle interrupted, "this isn't the time for that discussion." Catching my eye, he asked, "So, if this is unavoidable, what is going to happen?"

"Well, Malcolm had wanted me not to tell you everything, but…."

"What?" Felicity exploded. "Why didn't that lying piece of shit not want us to know everything? Seriously, Oliver, what's he trying to hide?"

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Hopefully I wasn't making a wrong decision. "No, it's just that it's possible I…I might end up being brainwashed at some point."

Diggle said in a tightly controlled voice, "If that's so, how are you going to function as an undercover agent then?"

"The plan right now is for Malcolm to teach me ways to withstand the brainwashing, and to only pretend to be brainwashed." Rolling my eyes, I continued, "And, this is what Malcolm didn't want me to tell you. If I am so-called brainwashed, he didn't want you to know it was an act so you wouldn't give anything away."

"I can understand that," Diggle said softly, rubbing his chin.

"Diggle, what? What do you mean? If that isn't the most…" Felicity sputtered.

Diggle looked at Felicity, head cocked, "You know, Felicity, we aren't very good liars."

I said, "And Ra's is a very astute observer of human behavior."

Felicity considered what was said, blushed a little, and said, "I suppose you're correct. But I'm still glad you told us, Oliver."

"Me, too." And I was. In spite of Malcolm's warning. After all, I did trust my team with my life. Always.

"Anyway, I'll be meeting Malcolm tonight to discuss those techniques and the plan in general. I will probably be leaving in a few days for Nanda Parbat."

"The only good thing about you leaving so soon is hopefully you will get back quicker," Felicity mumbled under her breath. She quickly looked up at me, but this time didn't apologize for her babble. She turned instead to her computers and typed a few things into several of them. "I'll see what I can find which might prove useful to you."

"Thanks, Felicity."

My IT girl straightened her shoulders, then looked up at me with one of her smiles. I could tell it wasn't quite as honest as they usually were, it being less bright and didn't quite make it to her eyes. However, I did appreciate the effort.

"Well, I got a few things to do at home before I leave town, so I better go get those things done," I told them. "I'll stay in touch."

Diggle said, "You better. And reconnect again before you leave." I could tell he added that reminder despite himself.

"Of course."

~~OQ~~OQ~~OQ~~OQ~~

My meeting with Malcolm went pretty much the way I expected. Which is to say, pretty successful, if I say so myself. Some of the things Malcolm reviewed with me, let's say, were more review than new knowledge, but I appreciated the effort. The rest was surprisingly helpful. And revealing. Malcolm's knowledge of the League was frightening, but I closed my mind from dwelling on that. Instead, I practiced the techniques with Malcolm which he thought would be the most successful in withstanding any brainwashing techniques.

He also assisted me with contacting the League of Assassins. As Malcolm explained, because of the history of the League and its dependence upon tradition, the use of smoke signals was the most common way of communication among members in the same city. I rolled my eyes despite myself. Malcolm shook his head and said, "For this to work, Oliver, you need to control such reactions to League traditions."

How could I argue with such logic?

Anyway, Maseo himself responded to our smoke signals. Malcolm stayed completely away from the meeting, for he didn't want to chance any possible sighting of himself.

"You wish to send a message to the Head of the Demon?"

I swallowed. "Yes, I…I would like to accept Ra's' offer."

Maseo didn't bother to hide his astonishment. "I did not expect such an answer from you, Oliver. At least, not so soon. What made you change your mind?"

This was the first of many tricky potential traps which laid ahead of me. Malcolm and I discussed what my reply to such a question was going to be. "I thought it over, Maseo…I mean, Sarab. As Ra's said, I now can appreciate the opportunities which such an offer presents me. Instead of limiting my efforts to one city, I can focus on helping out the entire world."

Sarab looked at me with narrowed eyes. "It is not what I expected the man who I knew in Hong Kong to say."

I shrugged. "Both of us have changed a lot since those days, haven't we, _Sarab_? We are no longer the naïve men we were then."

Sarab nodded. "Prepare to leave in one day's time. I will accompany you to your new home. We will meet again here."

I nodded, then Sarab disappeared into the night.

 **AN: Thank you so much for reading. Hope you found it entertaining, and hope you will let me know what you liked about it. Reviews are always so very much appreciated!**


	5. Chapter 5: Surprises Ahead

Disclaimer: WB/DC own these characters. I do not, just the original ideas.

 **AN: Thank you for returning. I am glad people are still reading this, even though not as many as I would like. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Things are getting more serious.**

Previously:

 _"_ _The plan right now is for Malcolm to teach me ways to withstand the brainwashing, and to only pretend to be brainwashed." Rolling my eyes, I continued, "And, this is what Malcolm didn't want me to tell you. If I am so-called brainwashed, he didn't want you to know it was an act so you wouldn't give anything away."_

 _"_ _I can understand that," Diggle said softly, rubbing his chin._

 _"_ _Diggle, what? What do you mean? If that isn't the most…" Felicity sputtered._

 _Diggle looked at Felicity, head cocked, "You know, Felicity, we aren't very good liars."_

 _I said, "And Ra's is a very astute observer of human behavior."_

 _Felicity considered what was said, blushed a little, and said, "I suppose you're correct. But I'm still glad you told us, Oliver."_

I couldn't sleep very well that night. Understandably I had all sorts of thoughts and concerns constantly running unbidden through my mind. After tossing and turning, I finally gave up and got up to do a round of callisthenic exercises. After tiring my body and distracting my mind, I returned to bed, and was able to fall into an uneasy sleep. One which wasn't interrupted by any nightmares until 5 hours later.

I got up and took a shower. I ran through what else I had to do before I left for Nanda Parbat. _Nanda Parbat?_ A place I had thought once upon a time as real as Shangri-La, the fictional movie Paradise. Even the knowledge that perhaps the fate of my hometown rested on my shoulders didn't make this any easier to bear. Damn that Malcolm for getting me involved with such an organization like LOA in the first place.

Besides all the other worries, I also couldn't help but be concerned with Maseo…Sarab, I mean. He knew me well in Hong Kong. Hopefully he bought the excuse that, just as he had changed, I had also changed since we had last seen each other. Hopefully he wouldn't see through my subterfuge.

I still stood behind my actions of telling my team everything. Even though they're bad liars, the chances are better they can cover up knowing something, and controlling their reactions to any of my future behaviors. I mean, I still want them to react with hurt and surprise, if necessary, but with them knowing, they won't try anything stupid to "rescue" me. Hopefully, trusting me enough to allow any plans to go forward. No matter what. Leaving me alone to do what I need to do, but be there if I needed them, as a last resort.

I had to admit to the very real possibility of needing an alternative plan should something go wrong. I had wanted to discuss that with Malcolm, to get feedback on a rescue plan my team could implement if I needed one. However, on second thought, that wouldn't work. Malcolm hadn't wanted my team to know there was a plan in motion that could go wrong, so discussing that with him was out. Pursing my lips, I realized I had to trust Malcolm, of all people, to recognize if the time should come when my team needed to be notified and I had to get extracted out of there. Not the best scenario, but…. all I had at the moment.

I decided I better get going, get my errands done, so I could make one last trip to the Lair. Give my team some last instructions, say my good-byes…except, hopefully it would be more like the French say 'until we meet again'. Au revoir. Hopefully they'll believe it more than I do at the moment. Especially Felicity.

~~OQ~~OQ~~OQ~~OQ~~

The final good-byes went the way I thought they would. Everyone trying to be stoic, especially Felicity, but we all failed. But we all pretended not to see the tears in everyone's eyes, hearing the words not said, denying the fear we felt radiating from all of us.

I just told them to have faith, that it will all work out. I infiltrate the league, find out Ra's' plans, and stop him. Save the city. Be back without any problem whatsoever. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Like we've done before. Easy as pie.

Thinking about it later, on the way to meet Sarab, I prayed it really wasn't the last time I would see them, to see my hometown. I cursed Malcolm for getting me, my team and my city, into this mess in the first place. If he had been a better husband, a better man, his wife would've survived, he wouldn't have gone off the tracks, and joined the LOA, and none of this would've needed to happen.

I shook myself out of those thoughts as I neared the meeting place.

~~OQ~~OQ~~OQ~~OQ~~

Well, this hasn't gone the way I had expected. Right or wrong, I had thought, since I had _agreed_ to the whole "becoming the Heir", there would be at least a semblance of hospitality, fake though it might be, a semblance of trust, _at least_ in the beginning. No, the so-called "initiation" began even before we got to Nanda Parbat.

I had met Sarab at the meeting place, and he led me to a small clearing where a private plane was waiting for us. We boarded, I sat down, and…I don't remember anything else.

I am not sure if they drugged me by way of a drink, by the air, or by an injection. I don't remember. Whatever it was, it kept me knocked out until the first I remember is opening my eyes to discover I was shirtless, chained up by my arms, hanging against a wall in a stone-hewn dungeon. I could tell it had been for some time, because my arm sockets feel like they were about to burst, and my legs were beginning to be numb from hanging freely.

"How are you doing this morning, Mr. Queen?" The question broke through my muddled thoughts.

I raised my weary head from my chest to glare at Ra's al Ghul, standing there in his fine royal robes, barely touching the ground, brushing his toes as he walked.

Choking down the quick reply which would surely have earned me additional punishment, I said, "A slight uncomfortable, Liege. Wondering what the purpose of this is, finding myself in this situation before we even had a chance to talk."

"I am a man who does not waste time in niceties, Mr. Queen. We have a mission to accomplish, and no time to waste. You agreed to my offer, but I have, shall I say, reservations. You agreed to my offer much more quickly than I had expected. So, I need to make sure your intentions are true and real."

Not knowing what to say, I just nodded. After a moment, I said, "I can certainly understand your reluctance in believing me. However, I can say in all sincerity I am truly intent on becoming your heir." I cleared my throat, forcing more saliva into my dry mouth. "I did give you my promise."

"I expected nothing less from you than a statement such as this, Mr. Queen. However, the initiation into the League of Assassins comes from a long history of traditions, part of which include the undergoing of such hardships to wipe the old life away, providing fresh ground for the new life to begin."

I nodded, not sure what I would say otherwise, if I was truly wanting to undergo this process. "I do understand, Liege, and I still agree. I submit to your authority and am ready to begin my initiation."

A small smile and a nod were my reward. "I have business to attend to, Mr. Queen. I will leave you now to continue with your initiation, for the process of creating a new life is not without necessary pain for growth. I will check on you later." He nodded to two of the guards, who took their place on either side of me, and left in a swirl of his robes.

Even though I did try to prepare myself for the torture before I left Starling, I wished I had indeed had a few more days to prepare myself physically. That could not be helped, however. I began some meditations to keep myself calm as I waited for the preparations to be done.

~~OQ~~OQ~~OQ~~OQ~~

Time became irrelevant for me, passing in a daze of various "preparations". After hanging suspended for some time, I then spent some time in a small cage only large enough for me to lie curled up in a fetal position. I believe I was in there for three days without respite. I was then allowed some time in a cell by myself, given thin broth and tepid water to drink, which I then threw up the first time I tried to eat it. I should have known better than to eat it as fast as I did, but even though I did try to slow down, I was understandably hungry. I was able to keep down the next meal, which I then fell asleep after eating.

When I woke, it was to the unpleasant feeling of extreme heat on the soles of my feet. Sigh, the fire torture. I was again strung up by my arms, but this time I had a fire pit of smoldering coals under me, slowly roasting the skin practically off of my feet. Not to mention causing my body temperature to increase radically as well. Both extremely painful and uncomfortable at the same time.

At this point I could almost see my high pain tolerance as a negative. Basically because it was making my "transition" into a mindless drone longer than the average soldier, I am sure. If that truly was Ra's' intent. I still had my doubts whether he wanted to brainwash me or to punish me, instead of preparing me as his Heir. Time would give me the answer; I just had to be patient. Patience was never easy for me.

~~OQ~~OQ~~OQ~~OQ~~

My body is slowly being broken, and I believe my spirit is as well, despite all my efforts. I have been trying to run memories through my mind of who I am, reminding myself of my identity, as mantras during the various punishments and tortures I continue to be put through. At this point, I have to work on reminding myself of the plan, but I am slowly forgetting details. I am slowly forgetting what Felicity and Diggle look like, what missions I've accomplished as the Arrow. I find myself losing my train of thought, and having a mantra of "Oliver Queen is dead. No other memories but Wareeth's" replacing what I am trying to remember.

The days leak into one another. At one point, lights are left on my cell day and night, so I don't know what time it is. I attempt to sleep, and noise interrupts me at unpredictable intervals. Great, we have moved to the sleep deprivation of the torture process.

One night, when I was about to completely surrender into the imaginings of my broken mind about being Wareeth and only concerned with the will of the Master, the cell door opened. I was chained to the floor by one manacle attached to my right ankle, connected by a strong chain to a metal loop in the middle of the cell. I barely registered it being released from my ankle, then arms which were shaking me awake.

"Oliver! Oliver, wake up! I tried to move the process as fast as I could, when I realized our plan had gone off the rails. But it took me longer to get the escape arranged." My muddled brain only took in half of what was said, not realizing the full impact of what was being said to me. "Oliver! Answer me. Do you recognize me?"

I forced my eyes to concentrate on the form kneeling beside me. Dark, unruly hair, a man dressed in black with blue eyes meeting mine. Visions of an earthquake came into my mind, but that couldn't be real, could it? I was never in an earthquake, was I? I couldn't recognize him. I couldn't find my tongue to answer him either. I shook my head.

"Oliver! It's Malcolm. Nyssa is waiting for us outside the dungeon. We're here to get you out of here." Forcing me to my feet, the man said, "Come on. You need to walk. I know you can. It's been several days since the last physical torture. You must have gotten some of your stamina back by now."

What was the man talking about? Torture? Who is this Oliver? Is that me? I straightened up and moved my feet, one in front of the other, as he led me out of the cell. As my head cleared a little, I stood a little straighter. The man sensed this and increased our pace. He opened the heavy metal door at the end of the corridor, and this woman also dressed all in black, similar to the Master, with black hair in a bun was there.

"What took so long? You know I couldn't come in to help. Someone had to watch."

"He's worse off than I had expected. Ra's really expedited the rate of torture the past few weeks." As the woman took my other side, wrapping her slim but muscular arm around me, the man said, "I wish we could've gotten more help."

"It would've only increased the danger if we tried to get in any of his team and the only guards I could trust were needed to keep our escape route clear."

They then appeared to decide to concentrate on getting us out of there. None of my surroundings looked familiar, but I must have been there before. Luckily, the stiffness in my muscles wore off the more we moved down the various passages they led me through.

Just when I wondered if we ever would stop going through passageways, we went through a wooden door and ended up outside. The cool air felt refreshing against my face. I couldn't remember when I was last outside. The sky was clear, but dark, with no moon present. Somewhere within me I knew that was a helpful thing for us.

We made our way down a path, which opened up into a small woods. After another walk, we came to a car. They assisted me into the back seat, they got into the front seat, the man in the driver's seat. We took off, without headlights, down the road. I could only lean back into the seat, despite the discomfort of my healing injuries from the last time I was whipped for disobeying Master. Master? What was he going to think? I shouldn't be leaving with these people. Who are these people? Why didn't I ask them who they were before I left with them? Master will punish me for leaving with them, whoever they are. I need to get out of here. I start to reach for the car handle.

"Merlyn, stop the car. I need to get in the back seat with Oliver. He looks like he is going to try to leave." While the man pulled the car over, the woman gently guided my face to look into her eyes. "Oliver, you are safe. You are okay. You are to be here with us. You are not to be Master."

She let go of my face, got out of the car, and sat beside me. I leaned over and wanted to open the door to get out. I needed to get back to Master before he realized I was gone. But in my weakened state, the woman was able to stop me.

"No, Oliver, you are Oliver Queen. You are not Wareeth. You are Oliver Queen. You live in Starling City, U.S.A. You do not belong in Nanda Parbat. You have been brainwashed by…by an evil man."

I heard the man in the front seat give a short laugh. I wondered briefly why he laughed, and why the woman hesitated. I looked at the woman beside me. Memories of punishments for not following my Master filled my brain, and I knew I had to get back to him. I felt my eyes widen in my anxiety to get back there, but feeling so weak and helpless to do so. I barely felt the woman taking my wrist in her hand then letting it go.

"Malcolm, his pulse is regular and within the acceptable range. I am going to give him something."

Turning to watch her, I suddenly didn't trust her. I tried to get out of the car again, reaching for the door handle, and I felt a pinch on my neck. She gave me an injection. Why? Master warned me not to trust anyone else, why did I let them take me out of there? I don't know…I am getting sleepy. I…I….

As I fade away, I hear the woman say, "I didn't want to give him the sedative, but he was going to try to leave the car. Who would have thought my Father had accomplished so much in so little time?"

 **AN: So there you have it. It looks like Oliver has been rescued. Or is he? We shall see. And Nyssa assisted this time, with working with Malcolm to achieve the goal of stopping her father. Sure hope you enjoy this first-person account. It sure is fun writing in first person sometimes, but it is its own challenges as well.**

 **Hope you return for the next chapter (unless something happens, I foresee it being the last chapter, but you never know) …and let me know, as always, what you think of it. See you next time!**


	6. Chapter 6: Recovery and Reunions

Disclaimer: WB/DC own these characters. I do not, just the original ideas.

 **AN: Thank you for returning. As it seems to almost always happens to me, the ending has snuck up on me. Glad you have stuck with this story until now. Not one of my more popular stories, oh well, but I still enjoyed writing it. So happy you read it, and hope you enjoyed this little variation of Nanda Parbat as well. It was fun writing first person point of view.**

Previously:

 _I looked at the woman beside me. Memories of punishments for not following my Master filled my brain, and I knew I had to get back to him. I felt my eyes widen in my anxiety to get back there, but feeling so weak and helpless to do so. I barely felt the woman taking my wrist in her hand then letting it go._

 _"_ _Malcolm, his pulse is regular and within the acceptable range. I am going to give him something."_

 _Turning to watch her, I suddenly didn't trust her. I tried to get out of the car again, reaching for the door handle, and I felt a pinch on my neck. She gave me an injection. Why? Master warned me not to trust anyone else, why did I let them take me out of there? I don't know…I am getting sleepy. I…I…._

My thoughts remained jumbled for two weeks after they got me out of Nanda Parbat. Thinking back on everything, I didn't realize the extent of the success of the brainwashing as I was living it. At first I thought I was handling it, then suddenly it changed without me really noticing it, it happened so gradually. Perhaps Ra's figured out how to change his methods to break even my resolve. If that was so, it happened incredibly fast. Or so it seemed. But like I've said, time was jumbled for me throughout this entire affair. I can't rule out the use of drugs, hidden in my food, or injected into me which I can't remember.

When I finally was beginning to remember who I was and what I was doing, it still took several days before I wanted to discuss what had happened to precipitate my removal from Ra's' fortress. Because the mission hadn't gone exactly according to plan. Actually, nothing had gone according to plan. I didn't have a chance to infiltrate the League at all. The only thing accomplished was seeing first-hand how truly skilled at all sorts of brainwashing techniques Ra's al Ghul, feared leader of the League of Assassins, was. Actually, the key objective of preventing Ra's from harming my hometown _was_ accomplished. Just not with my help.

When I missed the scheduled meetings with Malcolm which he had set up, after two months of being there, Malcolm decided he needed to come up with an alternative plan. He contacted Nyssa to inform her of her father's plan. Malcolm had thought she would be ignorant of what her father planned to do, and he was correct. Ra's had decided on this action without informing her at all. Which resulted in a sense of betrayal in Nyssa the world probably had never known. I'm glad I wasn't there to witness her anger about the betrayal.

Plus, when Malcolm informed her of her father's plan to destroy the hometown of her Beloved, and the killing of her Beloved's family, Nyssa knew she couldn't stand by and allow that to happen. So she was able to discover where the virus was being hidden, and was able to steal it the night of our escape from the Fortress. Thus, on the plane to Starling City that night, not only was it us three escaping, but a deadly virus as well. Which we were able to completely destroy, with the help of Caitlin and Cisco once the plane landed.

Because of the severity of my wounds, both physical and mental, Diggle contacted Lyla, who 'persuaded' Amanda to allow us the use of the ARGUS facilities for my healing. Knowing how conniving and petty the woman is, I think she enjoyed seeing the effects of the brainwashing on me first hand. But in this case, I could hardly care, for I needed their expert medical knowledge to recover.

So it wasn't until the third week of my hospitalization I felt able to stand having visitors. Of course, the first one, as it should be, was the first person added to Team Arrow, at the beginning. My friend, John Diggle.

"Hey, buddy, are you up for some company?" I looked up from my bed to see Dig waiting at the doorway, giving me a huge smile.

I returned his smile and motioned him to enter.

"You're certainly a sight for sore eyes, that's for sure," I told him, as I turned the handshake he offered me into a manly hug.

"I'm just glad you remember me now," Diggle said.

"You mean, I've seen you before now, without my memory?"

"Yea, the night we brought you here to ARGUS. It…it was difficult seeing you look at me and having no memory of who I was. Hope I never have to live through that again."

I nodded. We were dangerously near to sloppy sentimentality here. But I was indeed glad to see my friend Diggle though. He had been my muse, my guide, my guru, my conscience, as well as my brother and friend, for the past three years.

"So…anything exciting happen while I was gone? Or recuperating?" I asked, in order to change the subject.

"Nope, no business talk as yet. You, sir, need recuperation."

"Urg, Dig, what am I supposed to do? It's already been over two weeks. How much longer anyway will I be on bed rest?"

Dig raised his hands in mock surrender. "Hey, bud, I'm not the one to answer that. I'm just the messenger. But…I can help make you feel better. I have arranged…."

"Hello, Oliver!" Felicity bounced into the room, followed by my sister.

"I brought visitors for you," Dig said, with a smile.

"About time," I was able to squeeze out in between my sister's gargantuan hug.

"Hey, don't blame us, big brother. They were guarding you more fiercely than if you were Fort Knox," Thea said, adding a cute pout to her words. It brought back memories of when she was five years old and asking for more candy from her big brother.

"Knowing your brother, it's what was needed to keep him recuperating, that's for sure," Felicity said, as she sat down.

"Hey, smart-aleck, don't I get a hug?" I asked her.

Flustered, Felicity jumped out of the chair. "Oh yeah, of course," she walked over to the side of my bed. She hugged me, and I breathed in her essence. I sure have missed my source of sunshine. Felicity rushed to take a seat once again and gave me a big smile. "We've sure been worried about you."

"Sorry about that."

An uncomfortable silence suddenly covered us. I wasn't very sure as to why. Even Thea appeared to not know what to say. "So…Dig said no business talk. We don't have anything else to talk about?" I kidded with a smile on my face.

Felicity said, "Well, that's a good point. We are often too busy doing one of our jobs, we hardly ever have anything else to talk about."

I asked, knowing I was risking Dig's 'wrath'. "Seriously, though, is everything okay in Starling since I've been gone?"

Dig said, "I knew you couldn't leave it alone, man." He shook his head at me but gave me a small smile. "Yeah, nothing we couldn't handle. No fallout from anything Ra's tried to do. Luckily you helped stop anything from going down."

Suddenly I couldn't hide a yawn from them. I did try, but both Felicity and Diggle caught it. Before I knew it, Thea gave me a quick hug. "I'll return later for another visit. You only get better, you hear? I don't ever want another scare from you, big brother."

I saluted her and said, "Yes, Ma'am."

Diggle shook my head. "You make sure you don't give the nurses a difficult time, and I'll see you tomorrow."

I watched with curiosity as Dig and Thea left the room, leaving Felicity and me alone. I turned to Felicity, and suddenly I again didn't know what to say. Felicity also looked ill at ease, like she was debating on what to say.

"I suppose I better let you go as well," I said.

"Would you want me to stay? For a while at least? I suppose until you fall asleep?" Felicity asked.

"I guess so, especially since it looks like no one is chasing you out of here." I took her hand. "I'm sorry I scared you."

Suddenly tears appeared in Felicity's eyes. "I really tried to be brave about all of this, Oliver, but I've never been more scared about anything in my life."

"Yeah, I know. I was scared of what this virus would do if it got loose Starling doesn't deserve that."

Felicity took me by surprise by hitting me on the arm. "No, you dummy! I was afraid of losing _you_!" Her cheeks got red, and she began to mumble about her filter, but then she stopped and looked me straight in the eye. "No, I am tired of this. I want to air this out once and for all."

I was puzzled. "What out?"

"You and me. Me and You. Us, Oliver. Why can't there be an 'us'? I love you, and I know you love me. Yes, we are in a dangerous occupation, but you could have _died_ in Nanda Parbat. You always are worrying about me, but you forget. I have _just_ as much reason to worry about you, well, maybe more, because you _are_ risking your neck out in the field more than I do."

"But, Felicity…."

"No more but's, Oliver. Do you love me or not?" She asked me in her loud voice. The voice I have difficulty ignoring. The voice which tells me she really means business, and don't I dare forget it.

I looked at the little spitfire in front of me. I thought about what I would do if I ever lost her. But what would I do if some other man stole her heart away from me? Could I stand that any better than if I lost her through death? Suddenly I knew what I had to do, come hell, high water, or murderous villains with their dangerous plans.

"I love you, too," I told her as I pulled her to me for a passionate kiss. Consequences be damned. I _was_ going to have this woman beside me for the rest of my life, I decided right then and there. "Yes, I want 'us', too."

~~The End~~

 **AN: Well there we are. Not one of my more popular stories, but one which I did expand into more than a one-shot (which I wasn't sure I would do, after all.)**

 **I hope you enjoyed this story, at least a little bit, and if you are feeling kindly, please write me a review. Always, always appreciated! And come back to read more of my stories! Thanks!**


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